두 딸들에게 쓰는 편지

Dear my two lovely daughters,

By the time you two become old enough to comprehend the contents of this letter, you will probably be more comfortable with English than Korean, so I will try to write in English. 

Noelle, when you were born, you took the biggest part of my heart and my life.  And when Kayden was born 2 years ago, two of you started to share that part.  Your mom’s life and mine revolve around the two of you, and you make our lives so bright and so happy.  The joy you have given me so far for the past 3 and some years is definitely bigger than all the joy I had prior to your existence combined, and I am not exaggerating.  And it’s so big that it’s big enough to thank you for the rest of my life, even if you suddenly turn into the worst menaces tomorrow and stay that way for the rest of my life.  

There are 2 main reasons why you two are here on this earth.  First, your mom and I wanted children (a child, and then, another child). Second, God approved.  I acknowledge the fact that neither of you had any input on the idea of bringing the two of you into this world.  Because of this reason, I am so sorry in advance for all the pains you will have to go through and all the tears you will shed.  To have children is a very selfish decision on the parents’ part, especially when knowing that this world is far from being perfect.  Although there are as much good times as there are bad, I can’t argue with the fact that life on this earth is tough.  When you are going through tough times, think of us and blame us.  I just hope that there are more good times than bad times in your lives and that the bad times are not as bad as how good times are good.  So, in the end, I hope you will be able to say that your journeys in this world were fun and worth living.  Your happiness is my goal.  And when you’re happy, I will be happy no matter what situation I am in.  

And on the flip side, I want you to be someone that the world will thank us for.  It’s not that I am demanding you or even pressuring you to be people who are beneficial to this world.  I just wanted to make sure that our selfish desire to have children and to be parents did not do any harm to this world.  

As a person who believes that parenting is the most crucial factor to how a human being develops into the type of person he/she becomes, and to how this world evolves, I feel especially burdened for my role to your happiness and your influence to this world.  In other words, if you’re not experiencing happiness in your lives, it is us who is to blame, and if you’re being negative influences to this world, it is also us who is to blame.  

I know that we can’t be perfect parents, as no one ever is perfect.  We will make mistakes (a lot) along the way, and we probably have made more than we know for the past 3-4 years already.  But please remember that we’re trying our very best to learn the best way and to follow what we learn.  I only lived a half of one person’s life so far, and there has been billions and billions of unique lives in this world.  So, there are more things I did not experience than I did, and more things I do not know than I do know.  I can never fully understand how your lives will be and the way you experience the things that come in your way.  I will sometimes act like I know everything, but I’m clueless as much as you are.  

There are some things that older people know better, such as the fact not brushing teeth will cause cavities, and that eating too much junk food will make your bodies unhealthy.  But there are more stuff that we don’t know for sure, but we just believe we know.  And probably no one knows answers to many questions we face while living on this earth.  Let’s keep trying to find answers and let’s have fun along the way.  

I joke about not letting you marry anyone in the future, just like any father with young daughters.  Although I want to keep you by our side forever, I also want you to experience this same joy we have now by getting married and having your own children.  And what type of men you two will get married to (or what you will look for when finding the right person to get married to), and how you will grow relationships with your own children, will very much be influenced by how we raise you now until you become adults, and this very idea gives me so much pressure.  

I just was compelled to write you a letter because the joy and happiness I experience these days were too overwhelmingly great and I wanted to keep it on the record in case I forget.  I will include this letter in my blog (although the blog is being written entirely in Korean) because the ideas and experiences that I share in this blog are all for you.